I can't believe it's been a month and a half since I've last blogged.
I'd like to give you a great big excuse for it - but I don't have one - I've just been very busy.
I've been doing New Years resolutions on my blog for 2 years now, and I intend on continuing.
Today I wanted to take some time and revisit my New Years resolutions and see how I did, and unfortunately I did not accomplish as much as I wanted to.
- My number one New Years Resolution is to be more positive. I think it's so easy for everyone to think negatively first, and I know for me that is especially true. I want to change that this year. I want to be a more positive person. I noticed the last few days that with my changed attitude of being positive I am more happy about things. Instead of complaining about something I'm learning to say, "It is what it is.". And I think that statement is so crucial. It's crucial to let things be the way they are, unless of course you can change it. If something isn't going your way or something is bothering you, I find it easier to let it go and say, "It is what it is." For example, at work I get real aggravated with things I know I can't change, like some of the managers, I can't change them, nor can I change what is happening, I just let it go. I don't try to work myself up about it anymore, it's not worth it to me anymore, and it's not healthy. I know I have my moments, but I truly am trying to think more positively. I also noticed since I'm trying to think more positive I appreciate all the good things happening around me, that I would otherwise wouldn't have noticed. Like today for instance I had the opportunity to have lunch with friends. Something I would otherwise take for granted, I am happy that happened.
I think I started out strong with this resolution, but it fell flat on it's face. I want to say the number one reason for this is my job. At first it was not being able to get a job after college (2 months it took my to find a job). At first I loved my job, but things happened that I do not want to discuss that made me dislike my job in August. I am still there, but intend on leaving once the fiance finishes school. I'm learning to like my job again, but it's hard. Let's just say the CEO is not the nicest person. Haha. I also found it hard to be more positive because I have not been able to do things that I truly love. Like blogging! I am finding it very hard to juggle having a full time job and having an hour commute every day. How do people do it? Basically work is taking over my life and I guess I can say I'm not happy. Work has gotten between a lot of things I like to do and even my fiance and I's relationship. Which is a big no-no for me. It's gotten between my family and I. I can't be home when I want to because I live so far away. I'm finding holidays to be really hard on me as well. I am use to being home for the holidays and that is nearly impossible. I will say I've been off of work since Christmas Eve but it's still not the same. I miss my family and friends so much. So one of my goals is to find a job back at home. Another thing I find difficult about my job is that I like to have a lifestyle-job, not a career-job. What I mean by that is that I want to go to work 8-5 and still be able to do things I want, or take off time when I want, which doesn't happen. At this job I don't take lunches, so I'm working 45 hour weeks on top of my 5 hour commute. I wanted a job where I can go in 8-5 and not worry about things I need to finish after work. I think my number one problem with this job is I started on top too quickly.
- My second resolution is to get help with my anxiety. I have such bad anxiety, and I have been noticing it getting worse. My mom has anxiety as well and I can tell I'm acting like her in some ways. I get real bad anxiety when I'm around a lot of people. I also notice I get real anxious when people are real loud around me or a lot is happening around me. I have real bad anxiety when I'm just sitting in class. It was so bad to the point this past year I wanted to quit school. I'm not sure how I plan on fixing this, I do not want a prescription for it. I'm going to purchase some self help books for myself to read. I'm hoping when I read the books it gives me a better understanding why I have the anxiety I do, and possibly a way for me to cope with it. I honestly do not want to get in depth about my anxiety, but since it is a resolution of mine, I wanted to share.
- Blogging! My blogging habits will change this year and so might my address to the blog. I'm hoping by the end of year 2013 I will have my own domain. I will also start a brand new YouTube channel and get rid of my old one. Topics in my blog will go back to their original ways. I have gotten lazy with posts and it's time to kick it up a notch. I have a new camera that I got for Christmas that is a DSLR camera. I will have better quality photos and better quality videos. I will no longer be discussing personal things in my blogs, because like I said before, I noticed I had less readers, and what's important to me is what you enjoy reading! :D
- I'm not sure if this is a goal but some of the things I have in store for 2013 are pretty exciting. And if I type them up on here I am going to be held accountable! My fiance and I are applying for our passports. Why? Well for our 10 year anniversary we plan on going to a resort. Also, our anniversary is coming up in a few short days and we're going away to Philadelphia to get away for a night. We are going to try to make it to Love park, because what other time is appropriate then our 10 year anniversary?! As my graduation gift from my parents I'm going on a cruise. So I am excited to go to new places and try new things. I always think it's important to try new things and experience new places!
- If, a BIG IF, if I get a job, a real job, I want to update my apartment. Right now our lease is up for this May, but I'm applying to jobs where I went to college so if I get a job, I want to make our apartment, more our own! I want to decorate it pretty and make it nice.
I did get a job, a real job.. hehe. We are still at the same apartment and have done some renovating. We re-did our bathroom, we re-did our kitchen floor. I got a new desk with much more room. We got more appliances we needed. Recently we just got a bigger TV. So we are slowly getting there.
- Declutter my life! This is a big one. I have SO much stuff, it's disgusting. I don't need half the stuff I have so it's time to get rid of it. I want to go through every single part of my room while I am home and get rid of stuff. I'm either going to give it away or sell it. I'm sorry, but I can't remember the last time I used some of the stuff I have. I need to get together a plan and just go day by day and get rid of things.
- My new years resolution like everyone else is to lose weight. I don't need to lose much weight since I lost 20 pounds last year, but I want to lose more. I want to lose more because of our anniversary trip coming up, along with the cruise, and a possible vacation with friends. So it's time to buckle down and maybe lose another 15 pounds. But I haven't set a date about when I want to start.
One thing I did do this year because of my new job is set aside money! I've been trying really hard to be better at it, and I was finally able to do it with this new job, so this job does have its perks. Haha.
Anyway, I will be doing a 2014 New Years Resolutions, so look forward to that. :)
Have a great night!