Saturday, April 16, 2011

Wedding Post: Update

I'm beyond frustrated right now. I'm home now spending time with the family, and no one has brought up anything about our wedding. So I had to bring some thing up about it. I don't want this to be ignored or to be pushed aside, I want some resolutions. If you're confused please read my previous post before this post to understand what's going on) Any kind of conflict that is ever brought up in my family is always pushed aside or ignored and everyone pretends everything is fine. Or they ignore the person for a year, and when it's convenient for them, they'll speak to you. (This happened between my mom and I for many years)

.. So needless to say, I had to bring something up. So I asked my mother when I was giving her a hair cut if she had read the book and what she thought of it, "I read a quarter of the way through it so far" And then quickly changed the subject. To be honest, it wasn't the response I was looking for. I was hoping she would say she spoke with my father about what my fiance and I proposed to them and said what they thought about it. Nope, she quickly changed the subject. I guess she didn't want to deal with it.

I asked my father just a little while ago if there was any wedding talk that I should know about, "No, your mother's reading the book. But no, nothing, and I haven't said anything to your brother." I asked him why nothing has been said to my brother and he just shrugged. And the subject was dropped.

I can't stand to just sit by and have them think of this as a light subject. To me, it's everything and they're shrugging it off. All I want more than ever is to have my father walk me down the aisle, marry the person I love more than anything in this world, and build a family together. I feel like my life is at such a stand still because my parents don't want to deal with the subject. I feel like more than anything that I want to cry right now. This is so depressing.

I don't understand why my family can't be happy for me, and want to see my fiance and I live a happy life together. They sit there, shrugging the matter off, as if nothing is bothering me. I don't understand why my family can't see how happy my fiance and I are together!

Tomorrow is my friend's Bridal Shower and to be honest I was SO excited for it, now I'm feeling envious. It hurts to know your family isn't behind you 100%.

I'm sorry for the depressing post. But honestly, I have no one to talk to right now, and I needed to get this out.


Saimese said...

I read your previous post as well & I'm sad to hear things aren't working out the way you want them to. I know this might be a bold & risky step on your part but how would you feel about emailing your parents the links to these 2 blog posts that you have written up? Maybe then they'd understand a bit better?

Sally said...

Showing your parents your posts seems like a decent idea or just confronting them with the issue and making them deal with it because this isn't a little issue. Its your wedding and should be the happiest day of your life so far. I hope things work out. I am not close with my brother at all either. In my mind I am a single child so I imagine I will encounter this problem in the future as well but in my case, I am not negotiating. He will not be allowed in and anyone who doesn't like the fact doesn't have to go either. I feel no one should have place to tell me how to feel or act towards anyone who has given me reason to cut them from my life. If they have a problem with it they are putting his feelings before mine and that isn't right. But thats just how I would deal with it, and I am clearly a bitch lol so I hope things work out better for your situation. Don't let it be shrugged aside. Your happiness is worth fighting for.

*~kAy~* said...

Have they seen how upset you were? :'(
I can't believe they're pretending like they have "forgotten" this subject already -__-;

You know, before I used to have arguments with my parents because we didn't understand each other or nobody gave each other a chance to talk and everybody was too stubborn to listen. But I still wanted to get my point across uninterrupted. So (even though we lived in the same house) I wrote them a very long email explaining everything in the most clear, respectful, and honest way I could.
I knew that they would read my email anyway and they would be more open then because nobody is watching them, nobody is being interrupted, etc.
I gave as many examples and reasons to support my thoughts and feelings and eventually, I'll get a reply and things usually work out in the end for me that way.
I know my situation is not the same topic as yours but that works pretty well for me when I want to communicate to them, something that's really important to me.

Maybe they will read your email with more of an open mind instead of your blog posts because it will have a different tone.
I think its important to also be careful about how they will feel after reading something you've written to them because it will usually determine their decisions about things in the end...

Just a suggestion though <3
I know you know best :3

I'm so bummed that things didn't work out the way you wanted it to :(
I know that I would feel anxious to know immediately if I were you too!

Sally said...

You are very welcome! I will be watching for an update on the situation. Good luck. Be strong. XO