Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Wedding Wednesday: Meeting the Catholic Priest Part 3 & 4

Happy Wedding Wednesday!

I have so much to share because I missed the past two Wedding Wednesdays, so I'm compiling it all into one blog post for your reading pleasure. {kidding} 
The past two Wednesday {ironically on Wedding Wednesday} we had appointments with the priest. 

If you have been following along please refer to this post and this post. 

I'm happy to announce that my fiance & I are officially on the church's calendar for the wedding! Not just for the wedding but for the rehearsal as well, which makes me feel more at ease, to say the least. 
Anyway, we took our inventory tests a while ago (and if you don't know what I'm talking about, refer to this post). My fiance & I are having a Catholic wedding so this was a requirement to get married in the Catholic church. My fiance is not Catholic but I am. We went over our answers from the Inventory Exam to discuss any areas that the priest felt we needed to discuss. One of the questions was:

"Does your spouse frighten you?"

I was confused that he was even bringing up this question because I know I put "no" down but my fiance put "yes"! The priest began to ask him why he felt that way. The look on my face was probably priceless but the look on his face was definitely priceless. I was mortified. I looked at him and said "I did not know I frightened you". He kept saying that he must have put down the wrong answer that that wasn't right at all. Haha. We had a good laugh in the end and we still talk about it. I don't think I'll ever get over that moment. Haha :)

Many of the other questions regarded religion, which was expected because I am a practicing Catholic and he is Protestant but doesn't follow. For example, one of the questions that we did not have the same answer for regarded making decisions based on religion. Obviously my fiance does not turn to any one, but I would. There was a series of questions that were like that, but it was fine, and it obviously did not prevent us from moving on to the next marriage steps, nor did it stop the Catholic church from marrying us. It was to be expected considering our different beliefs. 

I think one of the very important things to consider and to talk about in your relationship is your religion beliefs. For example, do you want your children to grow up Catholic? Will you be attending mass with me and/or the kids? Will you support me if I go to church? My fiance & I had these types of discussions and we agree upon things even though we don't believe in the same thing. You shouldn't go in there blindfolded and completed taken back by their opinions. Even though you may not believe in something, doesn't mean your future husband or wife will believe in the same, which brings you to compromise. Compromise is huge in a working relationship. I'm not trying to hoot my own horn or anything, but my relationship wouldn't have lasted 11 years & 10 months if it was all my way. Relationships just don't work that way! Just like going into this marriage my fiance knew he had to make some compromises if we were to get married, does he want to get married in a Catholic church? No. But is he doing it? Yes, because he knows it's what I want. 

Has the priest tried to pressure my fiance into becoming Catholic? A little, but he is taking it in stride. There's things I have even learned about him while doing these classes. I had no idea my fiance prayed, in his own way. Even though he doesn't attend mass he does pray. He may not practice an "organized" religion, he does do it in his own way. And I kind of think that's why you have to go through some of these classes, it's a learning experience for both of you. But if you're in my situation where you're Catholic and your future hubby is not, my church certainly didn't put a lot of pressure on my fiance but there is some, just as a pre-warning. But all churches are different, so you may have different feedback.

Anyway, got a little carried away there.
Last Wednesday we met about the mass and who will be conducting the mass and the times, basically the good stuff! We got pamphlets on different readings we want during our ceremony. We even have the option to have one of our family members do a reading. He knows that I attend mass at home and even offered for my priest to come up here to perform the mass. Which I am currently reaching out to my priest to see if it's something he can do. I really like my priest at home so I would be so thankful if he could do it. It's not that I don't like the priest here, I would just prefer the other. The priest even offered my priest to stay at his place, which was awful nice of him. 

He did mention that he would not go to the reception (one less plate to worry about!). I don't know if this is typical for priests but I would assume so. We also discussed the things we can and cannot have as far as decorations go. He basically is ok with everything besides the throwing after church. He is limited us to certain items, but I'm fine with that. I asked if bubbles were ok, and he is fine with that. But I understand, the church has to clean that all up after because who else is going to do that? Besides do I really want things thrown at me anyway!?

He also gave us some sample programs we can use as examples, which I thought was very nice. It'll be nice to get ideas of the way other people set up their mass programs. He even offered us to use his copier (he's all about saving money) which was really sweet. 

So it sounds like we're almost set for the church. Which I couldn't be happier because I didn't realize how long of a process it would be. And I hope someone else that reads this will help them through it as well. 

It's such an exciting time and I'm trying to take it in stride and take it all in, because after all I only plan on doing this once!